Hello, I am an ENFJ to the core and the description is scary how much it matches me. I have been bursuing a career in the ent biz for over 20 years. I have had bits of sucess in acting, dancing, clowning, producing, directing. I am so sick of being broke and I have this ache inside me to be bigger than where I am at as I so resonate with the whole Oprah is an ENFJ too. I built a building, I've thrown huge events and many succeses outside of the biz too. But I constantly STRUGGLE with making enough money just to cover the bills let alone invest in my artistic career path AND invest in my future, like saving for a house. I do not want to give up on my dreams to be successful in the ent biz but I do not want to wait on tables or work at a retail store or drive for uber earning pennies in this path anymore. Too old. Married now. I have a future to think about like traveling and perhaps children. I do not want to feel like I am giving up and helping people is reallly importnat to me plus for some reason public recognition is super importnat. So I need to factor that in since it seems to be one of my values. I am looking at going back to school for nursing now. I know I can feel like I am giving back but I wonder if there is leadsership in there? I have a huge natural draw to leadership. I need to be in charge. AND have recognition? What in the heck? Geez. Makes my head spin and causes depression for me feeling like I will never get it. But as soon as I am in charge of something again, I blow everyone away with what I have accomplished, then I am back to feeling down and wanting to quit when it is over again. So to appease my frustration, I am thinking that nursing will give me great pay to work 3 days a week, the opportunity to help people/give back and I can still take dance & acting while pursuing my art. It's not like I get auditions that often and making $1000 a year isnt't enough to survive. What do you guys think? Anyone else feel this way? Am I alone out here?
Even if no one reads this. It was great to journal dump this overwhelm out of me. Sorry for typos. Thank you guys.