I am an ENFP female, seeking advice about my ENTP fiance. I am simply trying to better my understanding of him and the way he ticks.
When my fiance is angry, he is most defidently angry. He lashes out and explodes, espicailly when he is stressed. When he is angry, he exploded. He often uses my insecurities or knowledge of personal trauamtic experiences against me.
After anger has passed, my fiance becomes rather remourseful and apologetic. He awknowleges that he has hurt me. Once he has apologized, he simply shuts down. He does everything he can to avoid conversations about the instance.
My fiance is always full of energy. He reminds me of a great dane puppy. Very energetic and easy going. I, myself, am often ill. He easily becomes upset or frustrated when I do not have the same energy level. He shuts down and becomes "moody." What I mean by moody reminds me of a teenage girl having a breakdown after being told no.
This is the kicker and probably the most frustrating for me. HE WILL NOT TALK ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS. Period. Ever. He forces himself to be so uncomfortable disucssing his thought process or emotional complex and shut down. He becomes angry, frustrated, irratable, and voidant. He commonly uses the "blue tarp" method when it comes to process information. When I am in an emotional state, he also becomes uncomforable and simply ignores the emotions that are occuring.
How do I help him open up?
Throughout conversations during our relationship, my fiance has agreed that he has an issue with having to be control at all times. If he doesn't feel like he has control of a situation, he becomes drained. He goes into a slight panicked state as he doesn't have control of a situation.
In social situations, my fiance must be the person to initate conversations, but after he has set up the platform that he desires, he sits back and observes. After observing, if the conversation goes off track of his intentions, he'll rejoin and get it 'back on track.'
For those who are ENTP's: Is this normal? Do you relate? What sorts of advice do you have for my fiance in finding himself and processing information/emotions? Have you had anger issues? Does anything help with the anger?
Any other personality type with experience with ENTP's: Help. I need support and I need some advice on how to deal with my ENTP partner.