Hi I'm so drained from my over thinking. Getting off Facebook helped silence the inner monologue. I love being an ENFP! When I'm at my best it's a real treat. Although when I'm depressed and have to socialize every single person asks me what is wrong. PSTD is winning the battle the past couple months...July24th will be a full year of extremely high anxiety and depression. A rollercoaster brought by an INTJ man. I've never experienced an INTJ before. It's killing me and also making me the best person. I let him get away with rude and insensitive behavior for months and months. Not communicating this was extremely damaging. I told him that I'm not going to excuse it anymore just because of his personality. Months and months of not communicating has made me terribly insecure, plus mad as hell. I didn't even realize that not confronting insensitive behavior was the issue until I started writing this  Wow. Anyone else just fake a happy vibe so that people don't ask are  you OK? The combo of insecurity and underlying rage has left me listless and apathetic. I can't fake it anymore. started taking Zoloft today, maybe it will tame  the anger.


Annelies says...

Hello there, and although I am not in the same place as you, I have had and still have a very challenging life due to relationship breakup as I needed to let go to become a whole person again and do what is right for me and not for us as i only heard words but saw no action to make our future happen. In a way that felt like a different 'abuse' than verbal abuse. Chosing me and leaving was a relief. Last year I found "Abraham-Hicks" who are all about attracting what you want through thinking good thoughts and feeling good. There are many youtube videos on their sessions where people ask a question. It helped me a lot by changing my mood / feeling quicker over time from sad to a more normal feeling if not a really happy one. one key trick is to just think about something that makes you happy... Take a look at it is what I would say. Stress makes me going inward as a INFP but I am borderline on E/T/J. To avoid the questions "how are you"when I feel bad and my E is coming out, I just go to my local pub where they got to know me over time and accept when I am talkative or quiet. These days since I am focusing on personal development and studying to become a (life) coach, I drink club soda with lime :-) 

A few months ago I felt like 'not faking' anymore as I felt anger, insecure, sad etc... Then I found something that I have passion for that gave me purpose and those feelings went away as I am have now something I identify with that will make me happy (while inspiring/helping others). 

So - in short my advise is... go DO something that makes you happy... Try new things perhaps? Good luck. 

Mako (not verified) says...

Hello!! As a fellow ENFP I know what it's like to put on a face to avoid being hunt down for emotional expression, but I think it is worth expressing how you feel towards that person. I have struggled with PTSD for the past 4 years and it has inhibited my ability to be true to myself. This mixture of emotions you are experiencing is due to your lack of emotionally transparency with yourself. I suggest you take the time to fully process and confront these feelings. I know you'll do great. 

Thomas McBride (not verified) says...

Hi, new here. Hi Guest. My advice is if you don't have children together, STEP AWAY from the relationship for a bit, at the very least, just to clear your head. Volunteering to help the less fortunate also helps reset your attitude and get closer to your purpose.

If this is not an option go on a "me-cation" or a short excursion by yourself, preferably in nature, with a purpose. Make a photographic journal, write, or just a 2-3 backpacking trip with a small group. Works for me.

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