Finding out that I am an INFP and what that actually means has really helped save my life, my sanity. I have often been depressed and even attempted suicide once. I believe that a big part of this was the numerous aspects of my personality in conflict with my reality. A combination that I have found to be very painful is my perfectionism and my sensitivity to criticism. I have always known that both were a part of my personality, but again, I did not know why. I often have said and thought, that I want to be a perfectionist even when I did not want to be a perfectionist. I cared about doing everything perfectly, while at the same time, to a certain extent, I did not care if I did everything perfectly.
I have always been hypersensitive to criticism, even what I inferred was criticism. I will either get extremely mad and think about what was said for days on end, especially at night, or I will get depressed. It is a little, little mind you, easier to deal with it now.
I just woke up a few minutes ago. I was dreaming about something. In my dream I was being a little "froggy" with my students (I am a special education teacher, go figure, and I work with students that have a moderate to severe intellectual disability. Part of me always tries to "entertain" or make my students happy.) An other teacher came in and said something to the effect that I should put the same amount of energy into my paperwork.
The words that came to my mind, even in my sleep, are: WHEN THE WORDS FLY, I DIE. And that is often how I feel. I die a little inside from criticism. I rarely remember what I dream about, but I would not let these words be forgotten as they are so true to me in my life. Peace...out!