For years, self-help gurus and mindfulness experts have been preaching a simple mantra; if you want to improve your life, you have to change the way you think. Dream big and you will have success. Visualize yourself rolling in dollars and you'll become a millionaire. Unfortunately, science suggests that positive thinking might not work. In fact, the opposite may actually be true - that if we act happy, we become happy, something psychologist Richard Wiseman calls the "as if" principle.
Anyone who knows anything about personality theory understands that some personalities need a predictable rhythm to help them keep order to their day (we're looking at you SJs). Take away the routine, and these personalities have a tendency to get stressed, feel overwhelmed and become paralyzed by inactivity. They might even blame themselves for losing control of a situation.
Compassion opens the door to happiness. We all want to receive compassion from others, since it shows that people see and understand us. Compassion is the mode of expression that tells us we are not alone; that hearts and arms are open for us if we choose to accept them. It is the instinct that drives someone to serve food at a homeless shelter, donate money to famine victims, or help a friend in need without expectation of reward.
Years ago, I was chatting with another mom at a play group, who had daughters just a few months older than mine. She was talking about how much she adored her kids. Possibly, she loved them to the exclusion of everything else. She could not imagine how dull and pointless a person's life would be without them.
ENFPs are true free spirits. It's no secret that they loathe the cubicle life, hate dressing for success, and value intrinsic rewards over financial pay-offs. Freewheeling ENFPs want to do what they love, and the careers that are recommended for them - actor, public relations professional, photographer, drugs counselor - are sufficiently non-conformist to appeal to their independent, unconventional nature.
But .... aren't these suggestions just a little boring?
INFJs love people. They love being with them. They love forming intimate relationships with them. They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
THE FINE PRINT:
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