Why Are Introverts So Darn Hard on Themselves?
16 July 2018 / By Jayne Thompson Clinically Reviewed by Steven Melendy, PsyD. on July 16, 2018What's your standard of perfection?
Mine is ridiculously, suffocatingly, constipatingly high.
What's your standard of perfection?
Mine is ridiculously, suffocatingly, constipatingly high.
We like to be alone, us introverts.
Somewhere we can close the door on the people around us – the crowds, the chatter, the spectacle of it all – and immerse ourselves in our deepest thoughts.
We need this time to recharge. A little alone-time; a little contemplation is how we connect with our innermost wisdom. Solitude is oxygen for the soul.
But to feel lonely?
That's not part of the story.
Are you familiar with DISC profiles?
They make up the personality analysis system developed nearly a century ago by William Moulton Marston, the psychologist and – wait for it – inventor of Wonder Woman. And like Marston’s comic book heroine, they’re just as relevant today as the day they were first inked.
A well-rounded person learns from each personality type. I’m going to zoom in on Perceivers and Judgers for two reasons. First of all, a firm grasp on a few Judging traits is very practical, and Perceivers could benefit from assimilating some of their assertive, pragmatic methods of behavior. Secondly, most people don’t fully understand the difference between Perceiving and Judging. It will be simultaneously prescriptive and psychoeducational—an exciting two-for-one deal for counselors like myself.
On the 16-type scale, I type as an INFJ. This is one of eight introverted types, and it’s not a common type of Introvert. Yet do an internet search on “INFJ,” and you’ll see that it’s promoted as the holy grail of personality types. The way some commentators describe my personality, you’d think it transcends humanity itself!
It’s not just INFJ, either. Many types have this hyperbolic appeal to them. It’s their relative rarity that gives them their appeal.
Your Enneagram type influences your relationships, your career choices; it even influences your speaking style. But did you know it has a lot to do with the way your house looks? Here are the style predispositions of each type.
In many cultures around the world, youth is associated with energy and passion. Reflective and calm personality traits are associated with being older and wiser. We are comfortable with these stigmas; however, we are slightly less comfortable when someone flips the switch.
INTPs are the idea mills of the personality world; always examining, always questioning and always musing about some theory. They live in a world of "what if" and possibility. When there's really no answer, INTPs are the most interested.
But often, "what if" is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it's a clear strength that you're able to keep your options open. You wouldn't be able to philosophize, categorize and objectively analyze the possibilities before you if you made snap decisions based on half the facts.
It was second grade. I was a curious, outspoken, shamelessly bizarre kid who was doomed to never mesh naturally with my environment. How obvious it was from the moment I showed up to the first day of kindergarten at a strictly-uniformed religious school wearing a neon orange sundress!
Altruistic, charismatic, compassionate, optimistic, reliable, willing to go the extra mile for the causes you care about - is it any wonder that ENFJs rank highly on the list of the nicest personality types? You're the first person I come to if I need a shoulder to cry on or have a relationship problem that needs sorting out.
THE FINE PRINT:
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