Are you grieving? That sounds like a simple question, right? This month marked the 10-year anniversary of my father's death, so I asked myself the following questions, "Are you still grieving?" and "Have you moved past this traumatic event yet?" Without hesitation, my first answer was, "Yes! Of course. It's been so long."
Back then, I didn’t realize how complicated grief could be.
INFJs are sensitive, creative people with a passion for helping others and expressing their ideas. They may seem quiet and reserved on the outside, but on the inside, these complex folks are a bubbling cauldron of insights, energy and enthusiasm. But there’s one thing that can stop an INFJ from expressing their creativity and that’s stress. Stress can stop creativity in its tracks, leaving the sensitive INFJ to feel like they’ve failed, they’ve lost their talent or maybe they never really had any creativity in the first place.
If you’re an INFP, chances are you want a flexible life. A life of autonomy and authenticity, where you’re free to pursue your ideals in creative ways.
As a fellow INFP, to me this sounds wonderful. After finishing college, while living in a new city with no attachments, I expected to live this ideal life. My schedule was wide open and the possibilities seemed endless.
Have you ever wished you could silence your inner voice? Do you find yourself too involved in your own thoughts? Have you ever experienced such a strong inner dialogue that you found it difficult to re-engage with the world around you?
*Raises hand* I’ve been there! In fact, I was there yesterday!
Sometimes, it can take far too long to tell a simple story, especially for Introverts.
For some people, the problem might be an inability to get to the point. In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, for example, the courtier Polonius says that “brevity is the soul of wit” as he tells a long, rambling story about what he thinks is the cause of the prince’s apparent madness.
A well-rounded person learns from each personality type. I’m going to zoom in on Perceivers and Judgers for two reasons. First of all, a firm grasp on a few Judging traits is very practical, and Perceivers could benefit from assimilating some of their assertive, pragmatic methods of behavior. Secondly, most people don’t fully understand the difference between Perceiving and Judging. It will be simultaneously prescriptive and psychoeducational—an exciting two-for-one deal for counselors like myself.
Being ourselves is much more difficult than it seems. We’re constantly bombarded by external factors and people who want us to say this, act like this, be like that. How many times has someone got in your face about something they perceived as a shortcoming on your part?
“Cheer up, miserable!”
“Why are you always so persnickety?”
“You need to pay more attention to detail!”
On the 16-type scale, I type as an INFJ. This is one of eight introverted types, and it’s not a common type of Introvert. Yet do an internet search on “INFJ,” and you’ll see that it’s promoted as the holy grail of personality types. The way some commentators describe my personality, you’d think it transcends humanity itself!
It’s not just INFJ, either. Many types have this hyperbolic appeal to them. It’s their relative rarity that gives them their appeal.
It was second grade. I was a curious, outspoken, shamelessly bizarre kid who was doomed to never mesh naturally with my environment. How obvious it was from the moment I showed up to the first day of kindergarten at a strictly-uniformed religious school wearing a neon orange sundress!
Are you a hard worker who feels like your work regularly goes unnoticed or underappreciated? Do you set many goals but keep most of them to yourself for fear of judgment and failure? Are you desperate for success but get exhausted just thinking about attempting the traditional routes to getting there — networking and ladder climbing, among others? If you found yourself nodding along to each of these questions, you may be a sensitive and ambitious Introvert.