Have you ever wished you could silence your inner voice? Do you find yourself too involved in your own thoughts? Have you ever experienced such a strong inner dialogue that you found it difficult to re-engage with the world around you?
*Raises hand* I’ve been there! In fact, I was there yesterday!
Sometimes, it can take far too long to tell a simple story, especially for Introverts.
For some people, the problem might be an inability to get to the point. In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, for example, the courtier Polonius says that “brevity is the soul of wit” as he tells a long, rambling story about what he thinks is the cause of the prince’s apparent madness.
A well-rounded person learns from each personality type. I’m going to zoom in on Perceivers and Judgers for two reasons. First of all, a firm grasp on a few Judging traits is very practical, and Perceivers could benefit from assimilating some of their assertive, pragmatic methods of behavior. Secondly, most people don’t fully understand the difference between Perceiving and Judging. It will be simultaneously prescriptive and psychoeducational—an exciting two-for-one deal for counselors like myself.
Being ourselves is much more difficult than it seems. We’re constantly bombarded by external factors and people who want us to say this, act like this, be like that. How many times has someone got in your face about something they perceived as a shortcoming on your part?
“Cheer up, miserable!”
“Why are you always so persnickety?”
“You need to pay more attention to detail!”
On the 16-type scale, I type as an INFJ. This is one of eight introverted types, and it’s not a common type of Introvert. Yet do an internet search on “INFJ,” and you’ll see that it’s promoted as the holy grail of personality types. The way some commentators describe my personality, you’d think it transcends humanity itself!
It’s not just INFJ, either. Many types have this hyperbolic appeal to them. It’s their relative rarity that gives them their appeal.
It was second grade. I was a curious, outspoken, shamelessly bizarre kid who was doomed to never mesh naturally with my environment. How obvious it was from the moment I showed up to the first day of kindergarten at a strictly-uniformed religious school wearing a neon orange sundress!
Are you a hard worker who feels like your work regularly goes unnoticed or underappreciated? Do you set many goals but keep most of them to yourself for fear of judgment and failure? Are you desperate for success but get exhausted just thinking about attempting the traditional routes to getting there — networking and ladder climbing, among others? If you found yourself nodding along to each of these questions, you may be a sensitive and ambitious Introvert.
Altruistic, charismatic, compassionate, optimistic, reliable, willing to go the extra mile for the causes you care about - is it any wonder that ENFJs rank highly on the list of the nicest personality types? You're the first person I come to if I need a shoulder to cry on or have a relationship problem that needs sorting out.
“Can you imagine what this will be like when they’re older?”
I heard it in my voice before I had a minute to say more. There we were, my husband and I, watching our kids play, carefree, on our last night of vacation and I was already living in the future. I was dreaming of something better than this, whatever that might be. We had planned and dreamt of this trip, our first time introducing our children to the beach, and still I was struggling to stay there, in the moment, with the people I loved the most.
I love to learn. In fact, when I took the StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment earlier this year, Learner was listed as my top strength. I can spend hours at a time, days even, reading books about psychology and personal development and exploring inspiring ideas. I crave solitude because it means more time to feed my mind new information.