INFJs love people. They love being with them. They love forming intimate relationships with them. They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
Picture the scene: Family reunion at home for the holidays. Turkey in the center. Questionable casserole on your left. Immediate family, cousins, and in-laws only inches apart at the long, rarely-used dining table. It seems to be going well. Then it starts.
Intuitives don't have trouble formulating thoughts and ideas, but often struggle to articulate the concepts that are so clearly defined in their mind. It's to do with the fact that you think in an abstract, seemingly random way. Intuition trains you to make sense of these thoughts without examining every detail. But details matter when you are trying to explain your ideas. Overlooking a word or feature can cause complete misunderstanding - as if you are speaking a different language.
It’s true, those who carry the (J) banner are firm in their opinions and have clear ideas about how things should be done. And they normally pay more attention to details than their Perceiving (P) counterparts, noticing things that companions routinely overlook.
Most Introverts, and especially Intuitive Introverts, find it really hard to trust people. The main reason is that we have a finite energy for people and need those exhausting interactions to be worth it. We are looking for soulmates, not tourists in our lives. This makes us very selective when it comes to our friendships and who we let into our rich inner world.
Sensitive and empathetic, ENFPs are prone to taking on the weight of other people's problems. Whether it's a guilty friend or a boss with control issues, you have a tendency to strap on their baggage and carry it around as if you were their personal valet.
It's great that you care for people, but life's too short for toxic friendships. Here's how to stop overloading yourself with other people's problems and cut the cord on these energy-sapping relationships.
Perhaps the most sensitive of all the personality types, INFJs take it hard when someone they trust lets them down. They tend to hold on to anger longer than they should and are capable of holding a grudge even when the other person has apologized, repeatedly, for their wrongdoing.
Under these conditions, forgiveness may seem impossible. Even if you want to forgive, you may go back and forth between accepting the reality of the situation and being consumed with thoughts of bitterness and revenge.
For introverted children, the process of making friends is complicated. They have far less opportunity than adults to design their own social scene and usually wind up looking for playmates in the neighborhood park or school playground. While extroverted kids can handle such a loud and boisterous environment, introverted kids are typically overwhelmed by the noise and activity. They find it hard to start talking; many will simply retreat to the safety of the sandbox or a good book.
The question of whether our genes influence our personality essentially boils down to nature versus nurture, one of the oldest debates in the history of psychology. It has dominated personality theory since Darwin noticed that survival meant passing on the most capable of our genes to the next generation.
Not everyone feels comfortable laying their heart on their sleeve, even to the person they hold the most dear. Some people bottle things up because they don't like sharing things that are personal. They feel vulnerable when they open up and worry that they will lose their partner's acceptance if they show the "real" them. Others keep secrets from their significant other to protect them. If telling the truth will potentially hurt their partner, they might go to great lengths to keep their lips sealed.
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