My husband and I were married in 1988. While you do the math, I want to mention in passing that we had not taken any personality tests at the time, so we were blissfully unaware that we were both TJs. The fact that he had firmly decided against getting married before we were both twenty years old should have raised a flag, but at the time it seemed like common sense.
My ESFJ boyfriend thinks relationships are easy. I do not. We have been dating for over two years, which is a new form of miracle for me and really no big deal for him. While it’s been easier than my previous attempts, it’s been far from simple. Because inside my mind I have many, many illogical questions about how relationships work and no logical framework to answer them with. Without these things, I am a ship beneath a starless night sailing in circles until I can bear the siren’s call no longer and crash upon the rocks.
ENFJs: We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been… a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
Anyone who knows me (or even just talks to me for five minutes) knows of my deep, undying love for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality assessment. However, there are so many other people and things I love as well, and my mom is definitely up at the top of that list.
Alright everyone, meet Jenny, our theoretical ENFP for the day. Jenny is vivacious and passionate, able to somehow be up in the clouds and grounded at the same time. She is also single and in the wonderful world of dating. When your personality type is ENFP, there are fewer things that are more exciting than a world full of possibilities!
Are you good at being single? Do you feel that being in a relationship is great and all, but shock, horror! It's not the purpose of your existence. You'd much rather wait for the right person than date someone who isn't really compatible just for the built-in security of being in a couple.
Or do you find it difficult to be on your own? Are you forever lowering your expectations for what you want in a partner just so you can have a special person in your life? Do you fall hard and fast and leave a first date thinking you've met your soulmate – every single time?
When it comes to marriage, you have to be on the same page. You and your spouse have to have the same outlook on life; you have to be able to see how the future is going to pan out for you as a couple. There’s a reason married couples, over time, begin to refer to themselves as “we” rather than “I”— marriage knots two lives together in the quest for a shared destiny.
INTJs are the "Architect" or the "Mastermind" type of Isabel Briggs Myers' personality types. They belong to one of the rarest groups in the population, comprising only 2% worldwide. INTJ females are especially rare with only 0.8% of the world population, making it hard to find like-minded individuals and be understood by people around them.
Full disclosure: I'm married to an ENTJ (according to the 16-type personality system developed by Isabel Briggs Myers). And, at 53% Introverted, 47% Extraverted, my own personality is running dangerously close to the ENTJ cliff edge. So excuse me if I have a soft spot for these cut-to-the-chase innovators that exude confidence and drive.
INTPs have a reputation for being the "oddball" personality type. Isabel Briggs Myers called this type the "scholars, theorists, and abstract thinkers" of the personality theory universe, and they're also commonly known as the "Architect" or "Logician" type. INTPs want to understand the world in all its glorious complexity, and love using others as a sounding board for their brilliant ideas and theories.
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