Dating apps are a big industry and, with over 250 million people searching for love online, it’s a common way to look for a partner. But for every fairytale date, you’ll hear a horror story of a meeting gone wrong so it pays to be a bit discerning. When finding a partner, not all personalities seek to connect the same way, and with dozens of dating apps, it can be hard to know which to choose.
When it comes to love, INFJs are about as idealistic as you can get. Sensitive, caring and determined, INFJ personalities look for long-lasting and harmonious relationships in which they feel intellectually stimulated, understood, and cared for.
What pops into your head when you think of your perfect partner? Do you envision certain physical features or personality traits? Or is it more important that they share similar beliefs and values?
Whether we’re conscious of it or not, most of us have a “type” often stemming from our childhood experiences.
Narcissism is a word we’re hearing more and more, with some psychologists describing it as the predominant mental issue of our time. Its toxic effects are far-reaching and long lasting, and you would do well to steer clear of all forms of narcissism.
But too often, you don’t have the knowledge you need to protect yourself from these happiness vampires and before you know it, you’ve innocently opened the door and let a narcissist in.
If you’re a Type 2, the Helper/Giver of the Enneagram, you don’t need a personality system to know that your attention gravitates towards the needs of others. Relationship-based with high emotional intelligence, you have a gift for connecting with others, and difficult or emotionally distant people are your speciality. You truly care about other people, and this genuine concern helps you win the hearts and minds of friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family members.
I describe the Type 4 Individualist as the Enneagram type who ‘owns’ the emotional spectrum. While the rest of us might feel emotions that color the world like the 48 colors in a Crayola crayon box, Type 4s experience all 366 Crayola shades. If your partner is a Type 4, you are with someone who has a vivid and rich emotional experience; someone who feels dramatic emotional highs and lows.
Type 5, the Investigator is the intellectual deep-diver of the Enneagram. Curious, insightful, and cerebral, this mind can have sparks of genius and from vaccines to personal computers, Type 5s often lead the way with innovation. But if these folks are so insightful and observant, why is it those closest to them often feel neglected? Let’s take a closer look at the habit of attention of Type 5s.
If you're having a conversation with several friends or co-workers, and you’re the only INFP in the room, then you probably do more listening than talking. INFPs are really good at listening, and prefer to keep a low profile in a group setting.
But then you find yourself one-on-one with someone, talking about a subject that’s important to you, with an important person in your life. Now, you really need to have your voice heard. So why is that not happening for you?
Type 3 is the motivating super-achiever of the Enneagram. With a habit of attention that points towards success, these are the folks who get things done. But if this type is so successful, how come they are often frustrating and irritating to those closest to them?
ENFP personalities are known for their spontaneity, uplifting spirit, and out-of-the-box view of the world. INFJs are seen as warm yet reserved, introspective, and idealistic. It might surprise you to discover that these types happen to make ideal friends for the other! Despite their surface differences, there is so much more to this friendship than first meets the eye.
So what exactly makes these two types work so well together? Let’s find out.
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