My ESFJ boyfriend thinks relationships are easy. I do not. We have been dating for over two years, which is a new form of miracle for me and really no big deal for him. While it’s been easier than my previous attempts, it’s been far from simple. Because inside my mind I have many, many illogical questions about how relationships work and no logical framework to answer them with. Without these things, I am a ship beneath a starless night sailing in circles until I can bear the siren’s call no longer and crash upon the rocks.
ENFJs… We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been … a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
Anyone who knows me (or even just talks to me for five minutes) knows of my deep, undying love for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality assessment. However, there are so many other people and things I love as well, and my mom is definitely up at the top of that list.
Alright everyone, meet Jenny, our theoretical ENFP for the day. Jenny is vivacious and passionate, able to somehow be up in the clouds and grounded at the same time. She is also single and in the wonderful world of dating. As an ENFP there are fewer things that are more exciting than a world full of possibilities!
However, as you may well know, dear reader, dating is not always all it’s cracked up to be. Here are a few snags an ENFP like Jenny can expect to experience on her love-bound journey.
Are you good at being single? Do you feel that being in a relationship is great and all, but shock, horror! It's not the purpose of your existence. You'd much rather wait for the right person than date someone who isn't really compatible just for the built-in security of being in a couple.
When it comes to marriage, you have to be on the same page. You and your spouse have to have the same outlook on life; you have to be able to see how the future is going to pan out for you as a couple. There’s a reason married couples, over time, begin to refer to themselves as “we” rather than “I”— marriage knots two lives together in the quest for a shared destiny.
INTJs are the "architect" or the "mastermind" type. They belong to one of the rarest groups in the population, comprising only 2% worldwide. INTJ females are especially rare with only 0.8% of the world population, making it hard to find like-minded individuals and be understood by people around them.
INTPs have a reputation for being the "oddball" personality type. They're the architects, the thinkers, and the logicians of the personality theory universe. They want to understand the world in all its glorious complexity, and love using others as a sounding board for their brilliant ideas and theories. Some might describe the INTP as the smartest personality type—rational, creative, and ceaselessly curious. Others might describe him as an insufferable know-it-all who can never admit he is wrong. One thing's for sure—the INTP divides opinion.
INFJs love people. They love being with them. They love forming intimate relationships with them. They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
Picture the scene: Family reunion at home for the holidays. Turkey in the center. Questionable casserole on your left. Immediate family, cousins, and in-laws only inches apart at the long, rarely-used dining table. It seems to be going well. Then it starts.