Dating in 2020 can be challenging. Many people now turn to dating apps to help them find a partner, only to discover they are missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: personality compatibility. It’s one of the most important ingredients of attraction, yet it’s not even a small consideration in most dating apps.
So how can personality typology help you find ‘the one’?
In the literary world, few themes cross genres like love. Epic love stories, turbulent love affairs, star-crossed tragedies and of course, the happily ever after. These varieties and variations have been on the minds of storytellers and in the hearts of readers since stories first began.
As Valentine’s Day looms and stores begin to fill with overtones of red, white, and pink—it must be love on the brain, as Rihanna sings. And since love comes in all shapes, sizes and colors, it makes sense that the nine Enneagram personality types will be looking at love (and their significant others) in nine very different ways.
What pulls on your heartstrings, based on your Enneagram type? Read on to find out what you secretly want from love.
ENFP personalities like to be always moving. They are driven by new ideas and an innate curiosity about the world and strive for development in society, themselves and others. This excitement may come across as pushy or even flighty, as ENFP types like to move from project to project, often without completing the first one. But it is not malintended. Merely that the world fascinates the ENFP, and they want to learn more about it.
INFJs are sensitive, compassionate Introverts who value quiet time to themselves. But these thoughtful folks also care deeply about people and long for meaningful relationships with someone who shares their passion for in-depth conversations. So why is it so hard for these caring personalities to actually find those meaningful INFJ relationships?
As I sit down at my laptop to flesh out this article, a familiar voice behind me recants his latest phone bill. From Alexa’s stereo, I hear soft piano keys play a jazzy tune. A dog bark echoes outside, almost as if it was attempting to sing along with the jazz.
The lights in our shared office space are brighter than I prefer, but I’m used to it. I’m an Introvert who has lived with an Extravert for nearly two years and has been in a relationship with said Extravert for almost five.
My ESFJ boyfriend thinks relationships are easy. I do not. We have been dating for over two years, which is a new form of miracle for me and really no big deal for him. While it’s been easier than my previous attempts, it’s been far from simple. Because inside my mind I have many, many illogical questions about how relationships work and no logical framework to answer them with. Without these things, I am a ship beneath a starless night sailing in circles until I can bear the siren’s call no longer and crash upon the rocks.
ENFJs: We’re devoted, loving, hard-working and loyal to a fault. What’s not to love, right? Well, for this ENFJ, love has been… a battlefield. Like many of my fellow Teacher personality types, I tend to fall into the category of “serial monogamy.” I find myself in one relationship after the next, pushing for something lasting—even when the relationship has clear problems.
Alright everyone, meet Jenny, our theoretical ENFP for the day. Jenny is vivacious and passionate, able to somehow be up in the clouds and grounded at the same time. She is also single and in the wonderful world of dating. When your personality type is ENFP, there are fewer things that are more exciting than a world full of possibilities!
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